Heavy & Light
A week after the predicted blizzard. A week after being sent home from work early. After having classes canceled. After having a “snow emergency” warning. We finally got our Boston snow storm. I’m not sure how many inches it has snowed today. But it is enough. It’s enough to coat those dirty, gray piles of old snow lining the street. It is enough to fall on the branches of the trees and brighten the evening. It is enough snow to slosh home in, sled down hills in, or make snow angles with.
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I have been thinking a lot about sports this week. Obviously because it is the Olympics, but also because my friends have been asking me questions about my past. It is funny when someone in my “new life” hears what I used to do in my “old life.” “REALLY? You tried to qualify for the Olympics?” is one of the usual responses. I emphasis the “tried” when I respond. They are pretty shocked and amazed, but then naturally they go back to living their life. They do not have to carry this as their past like I do. One friend told me that she, her husband and a friend were discussing athletics and I came up in the conversation. They were debating what was harder, or better- to have lived a life and never reached for a big dream like the Olympics- or to have tried and not made it. But there are so many other situations. What about the athlete who makes it then screws up her chance for a medal, this is someone who actually has a chance to be on the podium. Or the athlete who trains his whole life to compete and makes it and gets slaughtered, but at least he competed. Perhaps like people say, “the grass is always greener…”
Another thing I have been thinking a bit about is what to give up for lent. Every year I usually give up sweets, which if you know me is not an easy task. But in the last few years I have also tried to do something everyday as a form of practice. One year, while living in California, I gave up road rage. It made for a much more peaceful 40 days. This year I have something slightly different in mind. I think I have decided to work on forgiveness. Easy right? I’m sure 40 wont solve any of my problems, but I think it might be a nice place to start. I have realized lately that I need to do some serious forgiving of myself and of others, before I can move on with my life. A lot of people don’t realize that anger is not an emotion. Anger is an expression of other emotions, often the underlying emotion is hurt. I have a lot of anger I have let settle over the years, and I think it’s time I start to let it out, slowly.











